Aug 3, 2009

Getting Old Ain't For Sissies!

Getting old ain't for sissies. That's our mantra around Spit and Glue, or for short, "SAG". However if you're reading this and you're not over the age of 40, the expression may sail right over your under 40 year old head, so to explain.

What we mean when we say "getting old ain't for sissies" is that if you don't have a pretty thick skin about vanity, you're in for a very rude awakening the day your skin turns to spotted crepe. It'll hit you like a subtle ton of bricks, like pulling into a parking space that faces plate-glass and catching a glimpse of yourself behind the wheel. For the first half a second, you don't realize it's you. You're looking right into a reflection of yourself the way the world sees you. This actually happened to me and I've been masterfully avoiding my own reflection ever since. I could give you many more examples of the same phenomenon, and I just might.

But aside from the physical manifestation of everything bad you've ever done showing up on your face one day, there's another set of frustrating things the aging process brings which have nothing to do with looks. I don't mean forgetting where you hid your favorite jewelry or an important document. Short term memory loss is a legitimate sign that you're getting up there, but any sissy should be able to handle it.

I'm talking about a dirty little secret that some women have to learn the hard way, such as.... right about the time you've lost your ability to see past the nose on your lovely face, it starts to grow whiskers. You'll be the last to know because you can't see them and no one you know will be brave enough to tell you. So you'll discover them yourself one evening in some restaurant ladies room with cruel and unusual lighting. I warn you now, don't allow this particular situation to propel you into a state of deep denial. You can't afford to ignore what's coming next. Does the name Dorian Grey mean anything to you?

Information of this kind must be spoon fed to the unknowing. Anyone in their 50's is hip to it already and could probably add a great deal to this discussion. You're welcome to do so, just hit the comment button at the end of this post and tell me about it.

On a happy note, by the time you're this age, you've managed to structure your life so that it's virtually free of annoying people or having to do things you don't want to do. You've paid some dues and earned your place in the world. You're around folks you love and who love you and you haven't forgotten how to laugh, especially at yourself.

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