Mar 2, 2010

A "Way of Thinking"

I know a woman who is both victim and survivor of a "way of thinking" which plagued our society for decades. This "way of thinking" continues to impact generations of people with grief, unanswered questions, guilt, and the worst kind of loss, the loss of a child. Here's what happened to the woman I know:

At age 16, she thought she knew her path in life. In the following order... graduate, get married, have children and live happily ever after. It was 1962, and most girls her age never thought beyond these milestones. She was no different, for her Mother and her Mother's Mother had followed this path, it was the American way of life.

So long as they were accomplished in the correct order, there was nothing wrong with graduating, getting married, having children and living happily ever after. However, anyone (especially girls) who mixed up the order of things faced serious consequences. She was one of them.

Back then, the "way of thinking" said that if you have a child before marriage it meant your life had taken a terrible and shameful turn, and worse, society would not consider your baby legitimate. It was common for girls in this predicament to be sent away to give birth in obscurity and be left with one awful choice. To give their babies to a willing family to claim as their own. In most cases this meant adoption (legal or not).

Fast forward 3 or 4 decades to now, when this "way of thinking" has proven to be not so great for everyone. Today we see these "not legitimate" babies and "out of order" women all grown up, parts of their souls out of whack, until they are reunited. This often takes a life time of searching with a mixed bag of results, and sometimes it takes a miracle. In the case of the woman I know, it was indeed a miracle that took place.
I'm going to tell you about it in an upcoming post, so watch for it.