Jan 20, 2011

PARENT TRAINING PAYS OFF!

This is J & D...... 3.5 year old twins in Florida. Seasoned travelers who come to visit often, and that's pretty wonderful.
As a rule, they bring their parents along, who make sure to pack the SUV chuck-full of favored toys and other amenities conducive to travel.
Keeping their keen eyes peeled for "golden arches" along the way, the twins can see first hand how the virtues of long and difficult parent training have paid off.

Both Mother and Dad know better than to pass up an opportunity for chicken nuggets and fries. Having learned this lesson the hard way, both will quickly attest to just how unpleasant travel can be.
Take note of the extreme difference in young J's expressions. This can happen quicker than you can say Big Mac. The trick is knowing how much you can get away with before his handsome face goes from happy, triumphant boy to salty, pouting boy. Make no mistake about it, if it comes to this, there will be consequences.


It's been a few months since J & D have come North, and since they'll be turning FOUR in May, I think I should be seaching for airfare to Miami instead of blogging. Seeya!

Jan 19, 2011

THE FIRST OF THE WORST!

Here I am already with the first of the worst ideas for 2011!

If only I'd had the insight to keep a list of bad ideas from previous years. For example in 2009 when Sis and I had the brilliant idea for one of us to stand holding a bucket at the end of the rain gutter in front of Sis' house while the other stood high on a ladder holding the business end of a power washer. The one holding the bucket was supposed to catch the debris as it came shooting off the gutters end. LOL we're still laughing about that one.

I'm sorry to say that not enough time has passed for the first of the worse ideas of 2011 to be funny in any way. On the contrary, I'm still reeling from the stupidity and the mess of it. Here it is:
Snow fell for hours while Georgia slept one Sunday night recently. What a beautiful sight to wake to on Monday morning. A rare winter white-out causing havoc and closing schools, business' and roads all over the region.

Over the week that followed, temps never got above freezing so the snow turned to ice. Slippery, freezing, torturous to walk on, we couldn't even get across the yard without taking a spill. I'm not exaggerating, a pair of ice skates would have been the best way to get from Sis' place to mine (about 75 yards).

Using the last of the Kosher salt, one of us (I'm not saying who) tried her best to make things safer by sprinkling it atop the huge ice cubes now covering the walk way. The salt didn't put a dent in the problem, and we both held our breath as we watched my dogs practically sliding on their bellies to reach their favorite pooping place. All I could see were huge Vet bills on the horizon.

When the salt didn't work, one of us (I'm not saying who) decided to try kitty litter. Lots and lots of kitty litter, and for about 12 hours it provided an inkling of traction. Then the ice began to melt, turning the litter to a wet, smelly, dirty, gritty puddy-like pasty clay that sticks to everything and leaves tracks EVERYWHERE on everything. DOY!!!! Using kitty litter on ice is a stupid frikin idea.

The second worst idea was for the other of us (I'm not sayin which one) to get up this morning, still in her pajamas and slippers, retrieve a garden hose from it's winter holding place, attach it to a faucet in front of the house and try to wash this SHIT off the walk way.

After FORTY FIVE MINUTES, wet, with frozen fingers, frozen toes and a huge chunk of flesh torn from her bleeding knuckle (don't ask), she managed wash most of the litter from the walk, all the while growling obscenities into the freezing wind. How about you? You have any stupid ideas to report this early in the year? I'd love to hear them.