This edition of Spring Wonders is dedicated to the memory of Uncle Doug! Anyone who knew him (and you know who you are) will appreciate the way in which this photo captures his true essence. Anyone who didn't know him won't "get it"... For that I apologize. Even though my pleasing personality is still on hiatus, I'll continue my report on the wonders of spring at Spit and Glue. A day doesn't go by between late March and mid October when I don’t have at least one fly in my house. To me flies are the most offensive of all creepy fliers, and a few days ago I swatted a big one sitting on the window frame in my bedroom.
That night while lying in bed, out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. It was the fly I stymied earlier which wasn't completely dead and crawling across my sheets. Nice. Fortunately, finding half dead flies in my bed is not a common occurrence, just a bonus reminder that spring is here. Why do I have flies in my house you ask? Because of the doggy door, that’s why….
And since flies bring fleas, it’s time to call Pet Meds and order flea/tick medication for the dogs. What a racket! These vultures reach way down deep into my empty pockets for more than $100.00 every 3 months for less than one ounce of special killing sauce. If there wasn’t a good chance the ticks would be all over me, I’d let the dogs rough it for a few months.
This time of year Sis takes one or two mini-vacations which means I’ll be staying on the property alone. I’m not bothered by her absence, but every time she leaves, something strange and out of the ordinary seems to happen.
One time my toilet exploded in the middle of the night. Another time Mija (the cat) tripped the main house alarm (some 75 yards away from me). Naturally it too was in the middle of the night, but I wasn’t about to venture out of the cottage to investigate. Instead I waited for the Sheriff to show up and give it the all clear. I hadn't occurred to me that they'd be all over the property with flashlights drawn in the pitch dark, only to find me standing there, boobs flapping in the wind under my night shirt. They thought I was a burglar and started pitching the third degree.
Then there was the time strangers in an unfamiliar car pulled up and parked on the empty lot across from my front door. For 15 minutes they sat with their headlights shining into my living room. Just long enough for me to wet my pants, say a few prayers and call the Sheriff again.
Since it’s inevitable that spring will give way to summer, there are other ungodly things to anticipate, such as my newly diagnosed heat urlicha (allergy to perspiration). No I’m not kidding, these days every time I start to break a sweat, my entire body breaks out into the worse kind of itchy rash for several hours. More cruel and unusual punishment.
Thanks for visiting SAG... If you read this and don't leave a comment, it's going to make me very grumpy!