SPRING WONDERS PART II

This edition of Spring Wonders is dedicated to the memory of Uncle Doug! Anyone who knew him (and you know who you are) will appreciate the way in which this photo captures his true essence. Anyone who didn't know him won't "get it"... For that I apologize. Even though my pleasing personality is still on hiatus, I'll continue my report on the wonders of spring at Spit and Glue. A day doesn't go by between late March and mid October when I don’t have at least one fly in my house. To me flies are the most offensive of all creepy fliers, and a few days ago I swatted a big one sitting on the window frame in my bedroom.

That night while lying in bed, out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. It was the fly I stymied earlier which wasn't completely dead and crawling across my sheets. Nice. Fortunately, finding half dead flies in my bed is not a common occurrence, just a bonus reminder that spring is here. Why do I have flies in my house you ask? Because of the doggy door, that’s why….

And since flies bring fleas, it’s time to call Pet Meds and order flea/tick medication for the dogs. What a racket! These vultures reach way down deep into my empty pockets for more than $100.00 every 3 months for less than one ounce of special killing sauce. If there wasn’t a good chance the ticks would be all over me, I’d let the dogs rough it for a few months.

This time of year Sis takes one or two mini-vacations which means I’ll be staying on the property alone. I’m not bothered by her absence, but every time she leaves, something strange and out of the ordinary seems to happen.

One time my toilet exploded in the middle of the night. Another time Mija (the cat) tripped the main house alarm (some 75 yards away from me). Naturally it too was in the middle of the night, but I wasn’t about to venture out of the cottage to investigate. Instead I waited for the Sheriff to show up and give it the all clear. I hadn't occurred to me that they'd be all over the property with flashlights drawn in the pitch dark, only to find me standing there, boobs flapping in the wind under my night shirt. They thought I was a burglar and started pitching the third degree.

Then there was the time strangers in an unfamiliar car pulled up and parked on the empty lot across from my front door. For 15 minutes they sat with their headlights shining into my living room. Just long enough for me to wet my pants, say a few prayers and call the Sheriff again.

Since it’s inevitable that spring will give way to summer, there are other ungodly things to anticipate, such as my newly diagnosed heat urlicha (allergy to perspiration). No I’m not kidding, these days every time I start to break a sweat, my entire body breaks out into the worse kind of itchy rash for several hours. More cruel and unusual punishment.

Thanks for visiting SAG... If you read this and don't leave a comment, it's going to make me very grumpy!

SPRING WONDERS!

You hardly need to hear it from me, but the many joys of spring have arrived once again and while the orchestra of birds and buzzing of bees are sweetly familiar, so was that little tickle I felt around my knee cap about an hour ago when I discovered a tick had somehow made it's way up under my pant leg.

You want to see an old lady move like a Olympian sprinter? Just put a tick somewhere near her body. I haven't taken off a pair of britches that fast since grade school when I sat on an ant hill.

And speaking of ant hills, already there are plenty of them in various places on the lawn. They're the smallest ants I think I've ever seen in my life, but they make the biggest, dirtiest hills which are a real pain in the butt!

The wonders of spring time are obvious, so I hope you don't mind my adding some of the more off color and pesky things about this time of year to the mix....... leave it to me, and I'll find a way to complain about stuff.

And speaking of the lawn, it's time to start mowing again. We've discussed fixing the flat tire on the mower several times already, so one or two more conversations about it and we'll be out there to fix it with the teeny tiny little emergency generator Sis bought last year. Without exaggeration, it can fit in my purse.

So far I've used it to put air in the tires of my car and inflate the wheels on the dolly. But it's a bit tricky since the only power source you can plug it into is the cigarette lighter in Sis' car. The fact that the cord on it is only about 5 feet long should make getting the mower close enough to the car with that flat lots of fun.... LOL

Late March and Early April is HIGH pollen season and just like clock work, pollen has begun to make a holy mess of every surface around, indoors and out. This means all the decks will have to be power washed again and that always makes for a terrific couple of weekends.

I'm usually the one whose not afraid to climb to the upper rungs of the ladder and get those hard-to-reach spots, so while I'm up there with the power wand I may as well clean the gutters too. It's probably not good to let them go long enough for plant life to take root in them, you think?, and that's about where we're at with the gutter situation.

In the interest of time, I will make this my first installment for Spring... but not to worry, there will be plenty more to discuss, so it won't be but a hiccup until I'm back for part two. Sorry, no photos this time. My camera finally died, and it looks like it's going to be a while before I have a new one.

Until next time, friends. Keri